Good morning, on July 7
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
I try sometimes to imagine to myself your face when you are old, and it seems to me that I shall love you as much, perhaps more.
All the material things are nothing. I’d just hate to live in a sordid, colorless existence - because you’d soon love me less - and less- and I’d do anything - anything - to keep your heart for my own. I don’t want to live - I want to love first, and live incidentally.
Why don’t you feel that I’m waiting - I’ll come to you, Lover, when you’re ready. Don’t don’t ever think of the things you can’t give me. You’ve trusted me with the dearest heart of all - and it’s so damn much more than anybody else in all the world has ever had.